Would You Be Happier Without Children....

It is an age old question pondered by many parents. I gave this some thought the other day, as I am embarking on adding three more children to my household.

Happier? No. Richer? Certainly, after I just spent hundreds of dollars for back to school items. More serene? For sure...as I worry about sore throats, bumps and bruises. Less Sleep Deprived? If I could just sleep till noon. More Organized? I won't have to keep 6 children's activities straight. But happier, not on your like.

Women's Lack of Sense

Why? Why oh why do I always seem to hear the excuses coming out of women's mouths about their men? Why are they so willing to accept disrespect from them? Why would they tolerate indiscretions and lies? Is their self worth so demeaned they are able to belittle themselves to expect less from a romantic interest than common sense would dictate?

I am dumbfounded by what lengths women will go through to "stand by their man". What do these pathetic souls need? Possibly a stamp for their forehead "Yes I am a dormat, please walk all over me." "I will accept any excuse you give me if it sounds sincere". Wake up and smell the spermicide! Life is too short to waste your time on anyone who will not completely devote themselves to you.

Re-Building

My new home has become a symbol to me. A way of starting anew. A way to fix something after I have completely destroyed what I had in a marriage. It has been my self help project. But honestly, I think therapy would have been much cheaper. However, the effect I don't think would have been the same. I needed to put this back together. Take something that was left abandoned and neglected and breathe new life into it. Sure there were a few glitches during the process (did I mention the water leak from my kitchen ceiling?) and there are plenty of projects still left to complete (and begin) but I brought beauty back to it. This is someplace I can call my own. It can't be ripped away from me and occupied by another. This is my labor of love and for all the scorpions and gophers there are, it is ALL MINE!

I am in an Empire State of Mind

I always seem to fall victim of homesickness. I don't every try to deny it, but if it was possible I would be living back in New York. (food, the up-frontness of people, culture, changes in seasons to name a few reasons) Maybe it is the heat starting to bake my brains, but I do miss the summers back home. (mind you, I would like them much better with central air conditioning, but that is a whole other issue). Or it could be the double dose of Real Housewives of NY and New Jersey which is effecting my brain. (I admit it I like both Ramona and Bethenny). Those two shows are like watching a train wreck, it's horrible but you can't seem to avert your eyes. So here is sing along with the chorus and Alicia:

The Finish Line

Friday, June 4th will mark the end of my first year teaching first grade. I survived it with a few scratches and bumps, but otherwise it was a success! The class will be looping to second grade with me, and all my parents have requested to stay with me. This is a great vote of confidence for me.

The end of my tenure as a renter is also drawing near. My year of transitioning has also been complete. After being forced from the home I so lovingly built for my family, I embark on an adventure of creating a new one. One would never think this "city girl" would be living on horse property. Remodeling a home was something I associated with living "back east" but here I am scraping paint off my arms.

I thought the changes and constant state of unbalance would cease at my decree. In many ways, it has just compounded as I navigate these murky waters.

Keep Piling It On

I have the official countdown to the end of the school year memorized. Each day is ticking down closer to summer, and you would think some peace would be coming to me. Just the opposite seems to be occuring. The last day of school is like a deadline for a writer. The last projects must be completed. The grades are to be calculated. There is no tommorrow for my first graders. They will be moving on to second grade, and onto another teacher. The checkout list is long and daunting and particular to almost every detail imaginable. The sand is falling into the other part of the hourglass, and I'm about to fall through it as well.

New Place to Call Home

I am officially, again, a homeowner. After a month of hoop jumping and some last minute requirements met, I have purchased a home. When I moved to Arizona some 5 years ago, I swore I would only own a new built home with granite countertops. Wellll....see how quickly this changes. I just bought a bank-owned property built in 1995. Granted this is considered new to my friends in New York, but is quite an oldie here in AZ. But the lure of this home was too great. First the price was too good to pass up. Secondly, the property. I have always wanted to own more than a "plot" of land. Now I have an acre and a quarter. Location was another big draw. Closer to main shopping, still in Chandler schools, but surrounded by other acreage was a boon. There is a quite privacy I couldn't imagine in the tightly controlled HOA communities. And a novelty for AZ, a basement! Since this house is an "old" one, it doesn't have a history of water problems. It needs TLC, paint and such. And no, no granite. But it is on my list of things to do to make it MINE!

I'm BAAACCCKKKK

I realize it has been a long time since I've written. It has been a long journey lately and it seemed pointless. My friends have seemed to move on with their lives as mine unraveled. Changes. Changes. Changes.....too many to list. Still among the surviving. It really is true: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger or wiser!

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