Butterfly Effect

One action, however insignificant, can influence the outcomes of larger things. This made me start thinking about how my actions, or inactions, effect other people's lives. A brief call to let someone know you are thinking about them can lead to a profound conversation. A passing smile can brighten a day. An angry word from your lips can reverberate in someone's mind the entire day. A negative comment can be interpreted as criticism. Confidence can come in a small gesture, a kind word. Empathy can be found in unlikely people. It is amazing how we can affect others not not truly realize it.

My Crazy Calendar

As the days are just flying by in October, I am starting to focus on November. I printed out my new calendar and already had 8 things to write on the new month already and it hasn't even started. As I was filling in dates and looking at the Girl Scout calendar, I realize I already have commitments for December! I guess I shouldn't complain about having things to do, but my goodness the holiday season is coming up so soon, I just wasn't expecting it! I need to start thinking about Christmas already, but just can't get into it. I suppose not having a real "fall" doesn't allow me to have the buffer period and enable me get ready for winter and holiday season. It's 90 degrees and I have to think about turkey and black friday shopping coming up in less than a month! Yikes....I think I will just keep staring at October until the last possible moment.

Looks Like I Made It

I have to say, I am finally at a happy place with my weight. Yep, I am declaring victory on the battle of the scale. I saw some pictures of me taken this weekend, and I am happy with what I saw. I must thank the treadmill, bicycle, and various weight equipment. And I probably owe the most to Paxil...so thank you to the makers of this drug...you gotta love the side effect of weight loss and decrease appetite! Now I get to buy a whole new wardrobe because nothing fits!!!

Beware of the Designated Driver

As many of you know, I have sworn off alcohol (medication and general health reasons). So now I am the ride home. Well, my friends, you should always be nice to the DDs at your party. They are the only ones who are sober around your drunkedness. We will remember all the fun and gory details of the evening. We see the true, the funny, the bad and the ugly of you being such lushes. And we are not afraid to use this information to blackmail your wasted asses!

Side Effects of Being My Friend

I think I need to put one of those surgeon general warnings on myself. I would read something like this:

Be Aware, maintaining friendly contact with this woman can cause certain side effects. Checking out hot men, obsessive desires to go shopping, frequent trips to nail salons, long phone conversations, incite the need to smack people who annoy you, engaging in political discussions, sending multitude of text messages, and obsessive needs to have other friends on social networking sites. Please proceed with caution while interacting with this person. If you find the above side effects are negatively affecting your daily life, please go directly to a Starbucks or a Paradise bakery for a good java jolt, and you should return to normal.

18 More Days

I can't believe it, but my youngest will be five on November 8th. Where in the world has time gone? By the time Jason was 5, there were 2 more younger than him. Now, I'm left with no babies. Part of me is sad to know I will never experience being pregnant or giving birth again. My husband has made his wishes for no additional children very clear, so this is a pretty foregone conclusion.

There is just something special about babies, and how they can make anyone smile. I love the way they smell. I love when they play shy. Or when they grab their toes and place them in their mouths. The wonderment on their faces when exposed to something new. But alas, they grow up to smart mouthed, argumentative children.

To help keep me in focus, I will just try to remember the sleepless nights, the endless crying, and the lack of freedom I had when they were infants. Maybe that will shut my biological clock up.

Getting Better

It looks like my new fillings need to be adjusted and is the probably cause of my pain. The sharp pain has subsided, now to be replaced with a much more manageable dull ache. I'll take it. But boy I do have to admit the agony turned me pretty ugly. So in advance I will apologise to all I snapped at, yelled at, or was generally miserable to.

Got A Headache

And a toothache.....pain....throbbing, sharp and stabbing. Of course it is the weekend, so I am to suffer until at least Monday. I would like to either shoot my head off or yank every tooth out of the right side of my mouth. These things always seem to happen when they can not be taken care of. So until now, I'll be in the corner crying counting the minutes until I can take more Tylenol. Just so you don't think I've either given up writing my blog, or am having such a fabulous life I can't be bothered.

Trophy Wife

Every little girl has a dream. And I know I said we should foster female independence, but I was recently taken aback. A young girl (about 7 years old and not *my* daughter) proclaimed when she grows up she is going to be a trophy wife. I sincerely hope someone said something to her in jest, and she is enjoying the attention the remark is getting. She can't possibly know what that means, right? Well, the only thing I can think of is, I hope she doesn't sign a prenup and gets a good divorce settlement.

Book Club

Every month or so, I join a fun and fabulous group of ladies to discuss a work of fiction and talk about life in general. Sometime the books are interesting, entertaining and inspire spirited conversation. Others, not so much (and I'm not naming any books in particular). It is my turn to make the next reading selection, and I admit I have fear. I want something that will be thought provoking or maybe inspiring. I don't want mine to be the one we will all groan about, or make fun of it. However, I am completely unimpressed with the newer novels out there right now. Hopefully my pick will not completely bomb.

Girl Power!

I've been contemplating the meaning of empowerment of our girls and women. I know I will make true feminists cringe at my personal thoughts of what constitutes true feminine equality. For me it is about Choice.

Truly I believe in the ability of women to be whatever they want to be in their lives. This includes a stay at home mother, an astronaut, president, or a stripper. It is the freedom of choices. You are only objectified if you allow it to define your being. There is nothing wrong in using your sexuality (or perceived sexuality) to your advantage, as long as it is your *free choice*.

Do people choose to base their decisions of your character based on your looks or occupation? Yes, some. However, it is not your responsibility to live up to or refute these assumptions. Those who really want to look past stereotypes will do so.

So, a cheerleader is an athlete, a beauty queen can be a valedictorian, a blond can be intelligent. It is about perception and choice my ladies. Don't allow others to define you, create your own mold!

Alone Time

Mastering peace and quiet seems to be an art that I have not been able to conquer. This vacation has taken a toll on my sanity. The noise level in my home has hit decibels that would make a heavy metal band jealous. I try to clean the house only to receive unsolicited help. I attempt to make a phone call, and I have children sitting on my lap, trying to add to the conversation. Privacy and boundaries don't seem to exist. It's been 7 years since I've showered, peed, or had a decent conversation uninterrupted.

Sanity will return eventually, right?

Phases of Life

I know there are psychological and stages of childhood well domumented. I started thinking about the stages of my life and where I am at now. When I was in college I was in party mode (yeah I know it should have been study mode....but these stories are for a whole 'nother post). Then I entered work/career mode. The most important thing was for me to establish myself as a teacher. Then all around me my friends were settling down, and I did the same. Quickly I entered mommy status, and while I am still there, I feel an evolution. Having the 3 children so quickly (in a 4.5 year span), I was full force preggos! Well, now my youngest is approaching 5 and is on the cusp of full day school. I feel like I am at a crossroads. While I am still wife and mother, I am restless. The volunteer work doesn't feel as rewarding. There is more me time, but I feel like I have missed out on so much of that for the past 9 years. I want to be selfish (yep that's coming from the writer who just proclaimed herself vain...big surprise). I want to wander the mall by myself. I'm craving adventure and excitement (but not at the expense of my security). Hubby says I'm trying to relive my past, and maybe I am. I was a bit wild in the past, and now possibly the daily grind of my daily life is starting to take a toll. Or possibly it is my mid life crisis??

Defining Oneself

I suppose I spend too much time on the treadmill thinking. I've been contemplating how I view myself, and how I want others to see me. So far, these are my thoughts.

I want to be the girl at the gym the other women wish their body looked like. I want to be the parent everyone wonders how she does it all. The fun loving friend who people want to hang out with. The leader the girls look up to and admire. The wife my husband adores and couldn't imagine living without. The intellectual whose opinions others respect. The stranger that catches other men's eyes and makes them wish they were with me.

Vain? Yep. But then what did you all expect?

If You Need to Find Me.....

I'll be in my room crying. I did the worst thing possible. I looked at our investments and retirement plan and saw how much money we have lost. I almost threw up, it was so bad.

When I am finished crying, I'll be at the mall shopping to cheer myself up.

When You Haven't Seen Your Children in Awhile

It was a quiet afternoon in my house. I was busy playing on Facebook and watching my soap opera. I realized I hadn't heard any fighting, crying, or complaining. It was quiet downstairs. Very, very quiet. John went to investigate, because any seasoned parent knows quiet children are up to no good. After some searching (could they possibly be outside?), and found all three in the downstairs bathroom. He opened the door and found this:

Apparently, Amanda's Baby Alive was being potty trained! Some of you might know Amanda trained Rachel, so I guess she was keeping her skill set fresh. Or possibly training her siblings. I couldn't resist, and had to take a picture of it. I've been laughing and smiling all day long.

I'm In LOVE!

Truly I am. With all my heart. I swear I had an orgasm without ever being touched. I saw, and I just knew I had to have it. This is the real deal and it's going to fulfill all of my wildest fantasies. Jennifer and Jamie were there to witness my love at first sight. They will attest to my affection. They've witness my quest to find the real deal, and know how long and hard I searched for my one, true one. Oh sure there were others in the past. Some were fakes, posers if you must. Others I thought would fulfill me, but I found out otherwise. This time it is different. I am head over heals!

What Not to Wear- Part II

Apparently we are in short supply of mirrors here in Arizona. It was quite evident at my last trip to the public pool. There really should be an age limit on buying string bikinis....or maybe a weight limit as well. Ladies, Moms, please look at yourself before you step out the door. If it is dimpled and jiggling, please do us all a favor and cover it up. Boardshorts are perfect for that. And if you are over 30, do not buy your bikini in the junior section. It's not covering up your boobs enough. The 13 year old boys sure did notice! I'm all for high self esteem, but I'm more for self respect.

Wise Words- Part Dos

Back by popular demand!

1. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
2. Take responsibilities for your own actions.
3. Sleeping it off helps put things in persepective the next morning.
4. A watched pot never boils.
5. Never drive far with the gas light on (I've pushed waaay too many cars in my life)
6. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
7. Your mom did have a favorite, either hope you were it or you are dads. If not, suck up to your grandparents.
8. No one ever said life is fair.
9. The most appreciated things are those which are earned.
10. If a cat hisses, leave it alone.
11. You will get your heart broken one day.
12. Hindsight is 20/20.
13. On your deathbed you will not hope you spent more time at work or had a cleaner house.
14. Don't scratch your chicken pox.
15. Have a past juicy enough to brag about to your grandchildren.
16. Your true friends will tell you when you look fat in your jeans or dress.
17. Husbands should never tell their wives they ever look fat.
18. If you are wrong, apologize. If your not, figure out if it means more to be right or to let it go.
19. Happiness is a gift only you can give yourself.
20. If it cries it's either hungry, dirty, or sad. Figure it out.