Fallen Off My Wagon

No I'm not a closet alcoholic, but I have fallen off my wagon. My exercise routine has taken a beaten, and the results is showing. My weight has creeped up close to 10 pounds. Yikes...how could the loss of 3 times a week of cardio and weights do that in just 2 months? My bikini just looks good on my, not "oh my god look at her body!". I have less energy, and I don't feel as well as I should. My strength is lacking, and I've lost some definition. Dang, I sure have a lot of work ahead of me during the summer. I know they will be complaining, but the kids are just going to have to learn to love TRC.

Loops, Circles...It's not Geometry

It is sociology my friends. For the past 8 years I have been in the mommy loop. I could have hour long discussions about potty training, sleeping through the night. I had every statistic on each of my child committed to memory. As my kids entered school, I have been in the sports/scouts/school mom. My expertise now revolves around Little League rules, scouting acheivements, and the latest gossip and goings-on at the elementary school. At Amanada's school play Bugz (which was too cute for words, I wish I remembered my camera), I realized that I am slipping out of this circle. I was not apart of the production. I started thinking "why do they do these events at 9 o'clock in the morning, don't they realize people have to work at this time?" I am crossing over, morphing into working mom. I guess it's time to be on the other side, the one who takes the evening conferences and isn't there at parent pick up. I guess it is inevitable, the loops and circles which you belong to evolve.

Bikini Shopping

Well, I did it. I only cringed once or twice while shopping for the dreaded bathing suit. Not too bad for this old lady, mommy. I also reached my goal of getting a "non" mommy 2 piece suit to show off my new navel bling. Let's see if I have the nerve to wear it out in public. I do have a tendency to have more bravado inside the safe confines of the dressing room. Just in case I'll be looking for a good cover-up until the confidence kicks in.

I'm Wiped Out

Sick. Nasty tummy virus finally claimed me. Besides the obvious, I was exhausted. I've slept most of the day. Bless my son's little heart. He was the only one who showed me any sympathy. He made his sister's breakfast and lunch today so I can sleep. He even offered to make dinner (more than I can say for his father, but then what do I expect from someone who hates me). Who knew I raised such a wonderful, kind, and generous 10 year old. I am so proud of him for taking care of me.

Next of My Great To-Do List

File for Divorce- Check
Obtain Full Time employment- check
Complete Girl Scout year- check

Well, at least I have made progress. I need to finalize all my paperwork, divide everything up. Argue some more about money and how cringe about how expensive raising children is today. The next big thing after that would be finding housing. I'm hoping with my new job and my settlement from the divorce I'll be able to tackle the next daunting task. Do we stay here in town where we are closer to our friends and the children's school? Or do I go for more affordable living quarters and move to where my job is located? I am hesitant to make that major of a move while still new to this position, and the market crashed hard in that area. What if I don't like working there, and am back on the hunt again? It is further removed, and would make it very difficult to commute. Do I rent a house or a condo? This would give me more flexibility, but the kids would have to move again eventually. This is probably harder than finding a job in this week market. But I did manage to do that, so I suppose I need to have faith, and beleive I will find something suitable for us to live.

Read All About It!

In case you are not on my Facebook planet, here is the latest, hot off the press news.

Yesterday, while subbing a 1st grade class for Tempe, I found out I was being offered a contract for next year at another school. This was the culmination of a long journey of interviewing and applying for many, many positions all over the greater eastern Phoenix area (no can call me inefficient). The position is for 1st grade at a charter school in Queen Creek AZ called EduPrize. I am so happy! I know the job market is tough, and so many have lost their jobs recently, so I am grateful. It is funny with there being such a high demand for Special Education teachers, I wind up with a general education placement. While I have dual certificates, it would be more logical to acheive a position as the former. Who knew my undergraduate experience would be more beneficial than my graduate work? Makes you wonder.

Now, I am an important step closer to independence in my divorce proceedings. Next, housing.

Kid's Day

That's what everyday is in this house. Including today...Mother's Day. Sure my kids made me sentimental cards and presents at school, but that is where it ended. No sleeping in late, the screaming, fighting and coming into my room to complain about their sibling stopped that. No breakfast in bed, actually no breakfast at all. They complained about what I served them instead. Lunch? Well, Jason did make his own. And since their dad and I are divorcing, there was no consideration from him, or his help in letting them celebrate. Why should I think this year would be much different than any other years past? Our big outing was to see Hannah Montana movie (sorry Jason) for that was the only thing I could think of to keep them from fighting and stop Rachel from complaining she is hungry.

There are people out there who have lost their mothers. Some have passed away, others are lost to different situations (drugs, incarceration to name two). These people are hungry for a mother figure in their lives. Mine, take it for granted not fully realizing how lucky they are to have someone who loves their selfish little butts so much.

So, I put on a smile, and pretend it's just another day. For really that is all that it is, the second Sunday in May.

Childcare Dilemma

Well, I have a job as a Sub in Tempe. I suppose it would be more real if I was actually able to work the job. John's crazy work schedule tied in with Rachel going to school half day is putting me in a bind. There is work for me. I have decline at least 6 placements for today because he is working from 1 to 10 today and there would be no one to watch Rachel and then Jason and Amanda for the balance of the day. Next week, he took off only one day during the week. Friday. Wow, I can really get some good hours in. Why is it when he works, childcare is my responsibility? It is just assumed. Now that it is my turn to be employed, I am the one who has to arrange for it? It is my burden to ensure my children are taken care of. Is it my employment is not as critical as his? I make less money, therefore I am not as deserving? Is it more for him to punish me for wanting to be divorced from him? All I know is I feel my position is diminished. My career needs once again are not important. I realize we are not a couple, but as parents we both should shoulder the burden of their care and well being. Not just me because it has been my responsibility alone for the past 10 years. I have a right to work just as much as he does.

Cinco de Mayo

I'll never forget a few years ago, watching Jeapordy there was a question regarding this date in Mexico's history. The tv show was referring to it being Mexican Indpendence day. I was having a fit over this. How could Jeapordy mess this one up. Gosh, even wikipedia has it right. It marks the date in which the French was defeated in a city. "Indpendence Day" is in September. Ah, but purists like me are hard to find. I suppose if I drank I'd do enough shots of tequila until I forgot about it. I guess it's taco for dinner instead. Happy Cinco de Mayo to all my Mexican friends.

Overscheduled and Overworked

May seems to be a crazy month. It is supposed to be the end of the year, and winding down. It has turned into parties, girl scouts events, baseball and now job interviews. I'm going to have an ulcer trying to secure a job. This being in flux in killing me. Knowing I might have to move my kids to what will be affordable is scary since that may mean a trailer in Apache Junction. I am not as excited about my kids plays as I normally would be. Parties just mean I need to buy another present for a teacher or friend of my children. I feel drained from my brownies and the commitments I made with them. I know my best case scenario will be not leading Amanda's troop. My worst case scenario is tied to my daughters turning into TPT. I know I must be patient and have faith that everything will work out. But even an optimist would have a hard time I think.

Tweet or Not Tweet

I'm not talking about getting a bird, even though that would give my cats and kids such great pleasure. I am referring to Twitter. Do I jump on the bandwagon? I am quite a follower...Blogger, Myspace, Facebook...(shh...don't tell Girl Scouts I'm suppose to be a leader). But Twitter. Don't I keep people updated enough about my mundane life on those social sites? Do I need to be any more social, I've quite often been called a butterfly? I type enough on my cellphone, isn't that why I have unlimited texting? Another mode of communication without actually seeing each other. Isn't this just another way to further alienate myself by diving into another cyber electronic means of imparting information? Who am I kidding, I'll be roped in without incident....I'm just prolonging the inevitable.