Control

I admit it, I have the Janet Jackson song playing in my head, but I was too lazy to look for it on YouTube. After reading my friend Jennifer's (Broken Bananas- link is on the right ladies) blog post about fighting over wearing jackets, I did a little soul searching. I suppose I have found another 12 step program I need to be in (shopping and Facebook are two others that quickly come to mind). I...Am....A...Control Freak. Arghhhh....I admit it. I make (no arguments here...no use they lose anyway) my kids wear jackets, I must have my bed made, we have a set routine for the morning so I don't kill anyone and get out the door in an orderly fashion. They are not allowed to eat anything without asking permission. I am sometimes a drill sargeant with my kids, barking out orders. Bedtime has it's own rituals. I have managed to resist the temptation of running my home like a classroom. It's good to know I did realize where to draw the line. I can only imagine the rebellion I am going to face once they are teenagers.

Class Pictures

Be aware....these rights of school passage come back to haunt you! Recently on Facebook a former elementary school attendee has dug up some old ones from the late 70s and early 80s. We look pretty scary....the fashions, the hairstyles, the ugly backgrounds. Some of them are brutal. I'm just gonna have to go digging in my garage to find mine....time to make some other people cry (either from sadness, embarassment, or laughter- your choice!) I just can't wait for 20 more years for my kids to say the same thing I've been lamenting, "what was my mother thinking dressing me like that?"

Jumping Through Hoops

The great state of Arizona feels it is necessary to torture teachers from other states seeking certification. There is no true reciprocity (unlike a few east coast states), so you must apply and verify all your documents. My Master's Level degrees are not sufficient proof to this state (which has lower requirements for it's teachers) is not proof enough of my capabiities. My passing scores on national exams, which exceeded Arizona's passing grades, are not valid. $120 is my privilege for a temporary license valid for one whole year. Then I get to pass a course in Arizona State government and a professional knowledge test (who knows, maybe more than one) before they will allow me to convert my Reciprical license for another temporary time period. All for additional fees, of course. Ah, the joy of government red tape.

Why Paxil, Why???

I have often raved about the wonderous affects of my Paxil....the good riddance to the PMDD, the lovely side effect of loss of appetite. But why no alcohol? Alcohol makes me happy. Really, I'm a giggly, fun drunk. I would think this would make a great combination. And when I am really in a bad mood (even after having my daily dose), I should be able to drink. I like drinking. I like the taste of wine and beer. I dig margaritas and fruity concocations. I like ordering the fun drinks from TGIFridays. But, NOOOOOO. I get to be the designated driver. Gosh, the least my friends can do is some crazy stuff that I can blackmail them with on Facebook.

Sheer Panic and Fear

Last evening I stopped off at my ATM to get cash for Bunco. I never carry cash, living on my debit card is the norm. Apparently I left the card in the stupid machine (it eats the card during the transaction, instead of you just swiping it). I didn't realize my card was lost until I went to pay for McDonald's tonight (yep another stellar moment in parenting). I was in such a panic. I dumped out the contents of my purse, almost in tears over losing something so important. And that is when it hit me! Damn you ATM machine, and damn my need for cash! Luckily I was able to report it lost immediately, and it doesn't look like it was used in the interim. Now make that two lost important cards this year, debit and my fingerprint clearance care. I fear this is going to be a slippery slope....

Procrastination

Once upon a time, Type A personality defined me. I was motivated, organized, a real go getter. Now, I could care less about many things. I'm almost a slacker (almost because when I realize my transgressions, I freak a little bit). I have been so unprepared for International Fest, I haven't been making Rachel do her homework, I don't check my banking everyday (not to mention I'm not even writing in the check register anymore). I am putting things off to the last moment. I seem to be saying "whatever" alot more now. I've sure loosened up....for good or for bad. Oh well, if you need my I'll be on Facebook or at the gym, or maybe the mall....if not Paradise Bakery is another option...

Prayers and Positive Thoughts

This is some background information about my 18 month old nephew. Today he is scheduled for his 2nd open heart surgery. So much for such a little boy.

Before Dylan was born we knew something was wrong with his heart but we weren't sure exactly what was wrong. We had a bunch of different diagnosis while I was pregnant with him. He was born on 6/19/07 at 10 lbs 7 oz and 21" long. He was absolutely perfect.

They did an echo soon after his birth and was finally diagnosed with transposition of the great arteries, a VSD, an ASD and pulmonary stenosis. He was life flighted to Miami Childrens Hospital about 5 hours after he was born.

He stayed at MCH for 2 weeks before they finally decided to do his open heart surgery called a Rastelli. General recovery time for the Rastelli procedure is 2 weeks. Our miracle heart baby came home one week after open heart surgery and we could not have been happier.

Shattered

Status Quo

Is there a pecking order for women? What I mean, does our society have different levels of respect for women based on their marital and motherhood statuses? Do we respect the married mother more than the single mother? The single childless woman more than the divorced one? Is a widow mother the cream of the crop? Haven't we ever wondered when a women would finally find a man and settle down? Or think to ourselves, when will the newlyweds have children? Do we pereceive a divorcee as a failure? Are we women defined and perceived by our relationship with men and children?

Scouting

This is my third year as a Girl Scout leader (1 as a Daisy and 2 as a Brownie) and I've lost my mojo. I am guilty of hardly planning our activities and leaving decisions to the last minute. I am hardly encourging my daughter to sell cookies. I'm only holding one Court of Awards this year. I haven't even considered any bridging activities. But I am even failing more in Cub Scouts. My son will be advancing to Webelos in less than 2 months. He isn't even halfway finished with his Bear. Both of us are giving lackluster efforts...,but he still wants to continue. I guess I just need to suck it up and get myself in gear. I don't want my children to remember how they were "sorta" in scouts.

3 Day Breast Cancer Walk

I have been mulling this over for some time now. 20 Miles in 3 days. It certainly is a lot of walking, and especially for a good cause. Those facts are undeniable. Can I do it physically? I'm sure with training I could get myself ready (something I am proud to say now that I couldn't a year ago). But do I want to put in the time and committment? Not just the training aspect, but the money raising and the 3 days itself. Would I want to start a team of my own, with friends and acquaintences (we might not be at the end of the 3 day)? Or join another group who has made a committment, but are strangers? Do I really need to become active in another activity? I already am a Girl Scout Leader (and by the time the walk arrives a Leader for 2 troops), and a volunteer at school and usually for baseball too. Or am I focusing on the negatives too much and not the difference I could make and the discipline it would give me?

Bucket List

Recently I received an email from a friend where you check off things you have done in your life. (I do admit I have done most of the things on that email list, I'm not so sure if that is a good thing or not) So I thought I would devise my own one. Here are my Top Things To Do Before I Kick the Bucket:

1. Go to Australia, Japan, and Russia.
2. Take a hike all by myself and take pictures of the view.
3. Own a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes.
4. Own anything Prada.
5. Swim in the Black Sea.
6. Go to Cannes Film Festival.
7. See the Taj Mahal.
8. See the pyramids.
9. Go to the Superbowl.
10. Get married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas.
11. Fall asleep to the sound of waves crashing.
12. Write a novel, even if no one publishes it.
13. Be apart of a demonstration.
14. Get kissed at midnight in front of the Eiffel Tower.
15. Master ASL.

I think this is enough to start off with....

To Makeover or Not....

With my new and gym improved body, I've been very busy getting all new clothes that actually fit me. While I haven't made any drastic image changes, I am certainly updated. Now I am wondering about my makeup. I feel like I'm in a drugstore rut. The color palletes are boring me. My skin seems to need something different, I just can't seems to put my finger on it. While at the mall, I considered going into Sephora, or even Dillards. But fear stopped me (not just from expected price). Maybe this is the one area I can't "improve". My abs are flatter, my thighs more toned...but my face is still the same. Same scars, same broken nose and uneven lips, same boring eye color. Only the lines and wrinkles are new.

Things I Shouldn't Have to Ask to Be Done....

But I always seem to do so. Some people make lists for New Year's Resolutions, I am making ones that just plain tick me off lately (well this blog is called RANTINGS, Ravings, and Musings...what did you all expect from this plain domestic goddess???)

1. Pick your clothes up and place them in the hamper without items in the pockets, or socks crumpled up. I do too many loads of laundry to go through them carefully. A little co-operation would go a long way.

2. No throwing tantrums while in the store. I am not going to magically give in. Crying gets you nowhere.

3. If the toilet paper runs out, put a new one in. There are only 50 rolls in the house, how hard can it be?

4. Put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher. It's not that difficult, or is it?

5. If you know I've been to the grocery store, and you hear the garage open, come and help me unload. I hate making 5 trips.

6. Wipe up the crumbs you make after eating. Nothing irritates me more than the little bits all over a counter.

7. If the garbage pail is full (or recycle bucket) take it out.

8. Finish your chore, don't leave it half complete. If it isn't complete, it isn't finished.

9. Putting away laundry. If the basket is in the room with the clothes folded, put them in the drawers. Not too difficult since I hang everything else up myself.

10. Unless we are going someplace special, just get dressed when I ask. And while I am at it, chose things that match, and are in good shape. If it is worn out, we can replace it.

Chores are easily forgotten in my home. If only I could have my dream of everything put away at the end of the day. How I long for the day when I don't have shoes, toys, papers, etc. all over the floor.

Words I Should Record....

...so I can stop myself from smacking myself in the head in frustration because my children just can't seem to listen to me.

1. Stop that!
2. Don't abuse your sister(s).
3. Leave her alone.
4. Turn down the TV.
5. You are too loud.
6. We are having ----- for dinner.
7. Clean up (room, playroom, loft, hallway, familyroom).
8. You need to figure something out (when they try to get me involved in their disputes)
9. We need to leave, NOW!
10. I don't care, brush them again.
11. Yes, you must take a bath/shower.
12. It's too cold for flip flops.
13. Yes you must go to church.
14. Keep your hands to yourself! You don't treat your friends like that!
15. No you may not eat candy.
16. If you don't behave I'll sell your Christmas presents on eBay.
17. I have a headache....
18. OK, we need to separate you all....to your own rooms!

I can't wait for school to start again. I just might sit in the house and drink in the sweet sound of......NOTHING!

Really Talented Kids!

My friend Donna's son is the blonde guitar player. These boys are in 6th grade in Hicksville, New York. They are awesome. Just remember this was taken with home recording in a basement! Enjoy!

Pass the Ginko

I really must need it, or old age is setting in. I had been using the excuse of the Holidays (Halloweem/Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's) for my lack of orderliness. I just can't seem to keep everything straight lately. I shopped late. I forgot to buy presents for people. I've been late planning my scouting meetings. Jason has 3 months to finish his Bear award, and it should have been done months ago. I've been forgetting when pay day is, and not immediately authorizing payment for our bills (eventhough there is enough money to cover the amounts.) I'm unmotivated, undisciplined, and underwhelmed.